Made Up Names for Neighbors You Don’t Know
Unless you live in a close-knit community you won’t know everyone’s name. Some use made up monikers when talking about neighbors. These descriptive nicknames are usually uttered in private. After all, no one wants to be known as the heavyset woman or the bowlegged guy. I’ve invented pseudo names for neighbors over the years. When sharing the events of the day with my husband it’s the best way to reference the no-name strangers down the street.
Mindless Robotic Lawnmower People
Most of the names I’ve made up for neighbors are in reference to lawn mowing. That’s because it’s one of the most common outdoor activities in Northwest Indiana, and needless to say it hinders friendly conversations. People spend countless hours pushing or riding their lawnmowers and trimming their lawns. I think grass is way overrated, especially since it requires ridiculous amounts of time. However, in the Midwest thick green grass is the rule rather than the exception. You don’t see yards covered in wildflowers, stone, or anything but grass and weeds.
The Lawnmower Man and the Lawn Shaver Guy
One of my old neighbors practically lived on his John Deere. I knew his name but still called him the lawnmower man since it was more fitting than Brian or Mr. Smith. Now I live on the other side of the state, but every neighborhood has at least one lawnmower man. The lawn shaver tops my current list of made up names for neighbors, and believe me, it’s fitting.
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The lawn shaver doesn’t live in the house he tends and only comes by long enough to mow, or rather shave, the lawn. I don’t dislike the guy, but I don’t know him either since every time I see him he’s in lawnmower world. If only the lawnmower man could have met the lawn shaver guy! On second thought, neither would have stopped long enough to speak. I imagine them using their lawnmowers like bumper cars or having a turf war (pun intended). People take their lawns and property lines very seriously!
Do You Have Made Up Names for Neighbors You Don’t Know?
I can’t be the only one making up names for neighbors. I’m guessing that’s how last names or surnames were chosen back when people actually knew their neighbors. For example, if someone was a tailor or a farmer, their jobs became forms of identification. You could have several Johns or Charlies within a five mile radius, and it was a good way to explain which one. Bad spelling came into play and last names evolved.
Do you have fictitious names for neighbors? Feel free to share them here!